Trivia 2009 Newsletter

Greetings Studlings,

Here’s a bit of trivia – the Norwigan Studs team name in 2005 was originally intended to be “Dan Needs a Wife” but was cleverly replaced at the last minute by our own Benjamin “I Have The Clap So I Can’t Write The Trivia Warm-up Letter” Adams, with “Dan Dan Wife Dan Dan” – and here I thought the name couldn’t get any worse! Enough dawdling. [or Wayner will pass me on the off ramp] It’s time for TRIVIA. This year is shaping up to be one of the best years ever. [Except for that one year we did really well and nobody got pregnant] Not only do we have a trivia team name [see below.. but don’t skip there now there may be important information in the next few sentences] three weeks before the contest [as opposed to three minutes], but we also have decided on a float, designed t-shirts, planned an alternate party on the east coast [join now!] and have started a pool on what percent of the contest Ben will sleep through this year! [my money is on the high 90s]

So let’s get down to business. The team name this year, thanks to Kid Reck.. [or was it Kid Kid Reck? whatever – it comes from the Spawn of Reck] is going to be [assuming there are no last minute poorly made executive decisions] {Redacted}. [hilarious] If any of you have a problem with this decision, please email our team naming and public outreach department at: yourvotedoesntcountsosuckit@norwiganstuds.com.

Another happy point, the float design has been decided on! [I know you were worried] This year we will be transforming the 85 Omni into a fully working {Redacted} from the movie {Redacted}. [Dan has promised it will really {Redacted}] If any of you have experience with building {Redacted}, constructing parade floats, modifying small vehicles, taxidermy, look good in a bikini and roller blades, or can just paint letters well, you can help. [nay, you WILL help] This year we are sure to win some frozen pizzas and a blow up raft which barely offset the hundreds of dollars spent on the float construction and damaged clothing items. [but hey, we have fun]

HOLY SHIT A T-SHIRT! This year in the interest of personal autonomy, [try bringing that one up at a party] and because I am really, really, broke, [8 years of college baby] we are going to go with self-stimulation [giggle] of the economy and allow each of you to purchase your very own shiny new Norwigan Studs 2009 Trivia T-Shirt from a website! Exciting. The price will be about the same as last year, possibly a bit more due to increased costs of having to ship multiple small orders. Like last year I will have some iron-on letters ready to go if you want to have a nickname put on your shirt, and this should only costs a buck or so to cover the cost of the letters. More info to come.

Moving along – I recently partook in a thirty minute point/counter-point discussion with Meaple addressing my concerns about the continued purchase of the energy drink ‘Bawlz’ for Trivia weekend [sample argument: hey meaple. bawlz sucks. nobody drinks it. don’t buy it] At the end of this thrilling debate however Meaple informed me that the Bawlz had already been purchased. [that was fun] However, if you have a suggestion for other types of food and drink that we should purchase, I encourage you to email it to: nobodychecksthesethings@norwiganstuds.com.

Speaking of fun: Strippers. No, not the hot ones that work at the Rhino. I’m talking about those possibly with child, suspiciously Canadian, and may or may not have made certain dreams come true. Rainforest! Word on the street [which street? i don’t know] is that she is coming. This has led to certain complicated/hilarious/awkward outcomes relating to the attendance of some of our other more casual teammates. Below I have created a flowchart for your reading enjoyment:

At least she doesn’t have SARS. Slightly less complex is the chart concerning Duc’s possible attendance:

Oh the French. Anyway I am running out of class time to write this lovely note. As always I hope to see you all there. Bring a laptop, bring a friend, bring deodorant. Ben will of course be accepting donations, [maybe we will break even this year!] and Davy will be happy to keep your hand warm while you sleep. Keep in mind this may be the last time you get to see Ben before he is imprisoned. [silly bitch] Float construction begins Wednesday night - bring a hammer. Until then, keep watching those crappy sitcoms!

Alex Fasching
Public Relations Officer
https://www.norwiganstuds.com